For as long as I can recall the number 3 was my favourite number and any number with a 3 in it was always a close second. One day it clicked: three 3s are 9 and when written together they form 39. Perfection! From that point forward I chose the number “39″ as my so-called favourite number. It was the number I had on my back when playing competitive sports and has appeared in various combinations in my passwords and phone numbers over the years. 39 was, and is, “my number”! Sitting down to write this post is when I first recognized the personally significant fact I was 39 when our son was born. I’m shocked I didn’t notice it before now!

This little read isn’t about sports, it isn’t some off-the-wall numerology lesson, and it’s unlikely you’ll glean any keen insight on how to be a dad. It’s a few random thoughts on fears that have plagued me since becoming (what I would consider) an ‘older’ father three-years ago and my take on how, despite my irrational fears, I believe I am better equipped to be a dad in my forties than I could possibly have been in my 20s or 30s. It’s a brief reflection on what becoming a first-time father later in life has meant to me, to us, and to our son.
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I am romantic. I am luchadore. I am dad.

What does it means to be a dad? I mean uniquely a dad, as opposed to being a parent. In today’s modern society, moms and dads generally share parenting tasks equitably; but what makes dad distinct?

For me it comes down to two words:

wrestling and romance.

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I was asked to write this post as I am perceived to be an expert at motherhood. Flattering, but it made me laugh out loud.

I can picture it in my mind. Three little kids standing at the playground having a discussion.

Kid 1: “My mom left me in the swing a lot when I was a baby. Apparently, she chose showering and eating over me.”
Kid 2: “Yeah? As a baby, my mom forgot to clean the rolls in my neck until I started to smell”
Kid 3: “I have you all beat. My mom let me eat dog food.”

Kid 3 has blonde hair and green eyes. How do I know this? She’s mine.

After having my first baby, I went a little mental. Everything had to be perfect. I had to be perfect- The perfect mom.
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Welcome to motherhood. One day you’re slinging your purse over your shoulder to run and meet a friend at a moment’s notice. The next day you’re slogging 20 lbs of baby, carseat and stuff out the door – if you even get off the couch from cluster feedings.

This shift in lifestyle is the part that most people don’t talk about. And for those of us who love to be social and out-and-about it’s quite a shock.

Venturing out of the house the first few times as a new mom can be daunting. Trying to time naps, feedings and the inevitable poop-up-the-back. Be easy on yourself, but don’t let that stop you from getting out. Consider a one-hour outing a success. Heck, walking around the block is a win too.
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Another Earth Day, another avalanche of press releases and sales flyers. Sometimes it feels like ‘green’ has become another hokey sales pitch for gadgets you don’t need, doesn’t it? However, Earth Day is more than just an opportunity to get a great deal on a rain barrel at the hardware store. It’s a chance to rethink how our everyday actions have an impact, not just on the planet, but closer to home.

Want to make your impact on the planet and your community a positive one? Try slowing your life down.

 
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When I was asked by NextGen’s Jacqui Fraser to contribute an guest post on the theme of “community”, I asked, “which one?” NextGen’s guest bloggers are selected on the basis of what each of them might bring to the topic at hand, whatever that might be. I started to wonder why I might have been selected. It’s strange, because I’m usually defined (by myself or others) by the ways I don’t fit in, rather than the ways that I am a part of the group. So here goes:
 

I am first and foremost a member of my family. Three, actually: mine, my partner’s, and my sister’s in-laws. My parents are quite active in the Japanese-Canadian community, so occasionally that comes into play. I am also a friend, moving within several different circles. Some of my friend groups intersect, some have no idea the others exist. I am a writer, so I have colleagues who are also writers, as well as clients from many different industries. I’m implicated in the arts community as a board member in two organizations as well as a nearly-emergent creative writer. I used to play in a couple of bands, so there’s that too. I hover in the margins of the foodie scene. I’m a member of my community league as well as a contributor to a number of projects in the Alberta Avenue area generally. I’m on a few online social networks. I volunteer. I have a great dog, and yes, there is a dog community as well.
 

So. Which one? Where do I fit?

 
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It’s difficult for me to imagine a world without communities. Perhaps because it’s human nature to find like minded people to collaborate with, the process of forming a community is quite natural.

I’ve seen the amazing things communities can accomplish with my own eyes.

From an assembly of just a few neighbours, to a group of thousands, communities can accomplish things that an individual can dream about, but that take many to actualize.

The diversity of Edmonton’s communities is as great as the diversity of its citizens
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We’ve heard it all before – you don’t have to like the people you work with, but you do need to be professional and respectful in your work relationships. But why?

What if you just don’t like someone you work with and never will?  Can’t you just avoid them instead?

Given the amount of time that most of us spend at work, having professional and respectful relationships will lead to a more positive work environment.  Some of you may have (or do) work in a situation where you have to drag yourself into work every day because of the nature of the relationships at work.  How did/does that make you feel?  Were you able to do your best work in that environment?  Most people are not able to.

Here’s a common situation:
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Ah Valentine’s Day, that day of the year set aside for lovers and romance. Visions of Cupid in his cute little diaper with heart-shaped arrows flitting around making people’s soul mate dreams come true. Wait…what? A diaper? Who thought of that?! As a Mother, I assure you, there is NOTHING romantic about diapers… Anyway… I digress.

Valentine’s Day, the day of overpriced flowers, expensive chocolate and feathery lingerie. Thankfully, I am not stressed. No significant other means no searching through rows of ridiculously expensive cards to find one that expresses the right amount of “love” for a person I do not. So rather than concentrate on the whole V-Day hoopla, Andrea and I have put together our list of most hated “being single on Valentine’s Day drivel” for your entertainment.
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I’m working with a lovely couple who are having the same problems many couples have. Wilma doesn’t feel like she get her needs met and gets hurt, angry and critical. Her husband, Fred feeling criticized and attacked, gets defensive and either withdraws or lashes out angrily – both of which do nothing but add fuel to the fire.

Fred and Wilma came in for a few sessions and after a while they both agreed that they felt like they were “hamsters running around the same old treadmill, over and over again, blaming each other.” I told them that it’s worse than that. They aren’t just cute hamsters running along side one other, getting themselves tired and then ready for bed after a long hamster day together. They have become…

ZOMBIE HAMSTERS!

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The tough get going; at least that is how the saying goes. Getting healthy and fit is not always an easy road to travel on. Even though I am a Leadership Coach and natural bodybuilder, I still find ‘being tough‘ isn’t always enough. I need motivation in my life to keep me energized, focused, and on the path of success.

I need to be inspired.

Inspiration brings light to my path when I find myself in the midst of a dark and lonely stretch in the journey. When obstacles, self loathing, and perceived lack of progress crowd in, I light the lamp of inspiration to see where I am going and remind myself that it can be done.

What are my inspirations and motivations?

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Our bodies are meant to move, it feels good and keeps us healthy. Think back to when you were a kid, thrilled at the chance to run and play at recess. That feeling of freedom, getting to stretch your muscles, to chase after a ball or a friend….. Exercise makes your body healthy; your brain releases endorphins (chemicals that are reported to decrease pain and stress), your muscles get stronger, it just feels good.

There are many more benefits to moving around than there are for staying still.

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It’s the second week of January and for many, the excitement of their January resolution has already worn off. Perhaps you never started or it was more difficult than you thought or you actually didn’t even know where to begin! You’re not alone – 80% of people make at least one resolution come January 1^st and a whopping 88% of those people don’t make that resolution a reality!!

It doesn’t need to be that way though (and even though it’s not January 1^st, you could start again, no one has to be the wiser). Let’s look at the top 3 reasons people are unsuccessful and how you can be one of the 12% fulfilling your goal this 2012.
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Edmonton’s NextGen is a hub for connecting people, places, community and ideas together. We want to host conversations that empower our community by providing a platform for different voices that will spark interesting discussions based on ideas and opinions from various thought leaders in Edmonton. Our city is filled with talented, energetic and a community-oriented individuals who actively work to make Edmonton a better place to be for now and generations to come. 

We are getting our peers to help us out. We are happy to introduce our new guest blogging series “NextGen Speaks Out” . With a different theme each month, this feature will showcase a variety of Edmontonians who are influencers or “experts” on that month’s theme. The series is named NextGen Speaks Out because speaking out is defined as the ability to talk freely and fearlessly, about a public issue. With each new post we not only encourage our community to read and share the ideas and opinions brought forward by the guest blogger but also to also engage in conversation and discussion in the comment section or in other social realms.

January’s Next Gen Speaks Out theme is Health and Fitness.  Especially at this time of year, Health and Fitness is a theme on the forefront of people’s minds, whether as a result of a resolution to get healthy, becoming more fit, losing weight or because of a looming winter vacation to somewhere tropical. We anticipate that you will get informed, pick up tips, share your successes or setbacks, and maybe even look at it from a different point for view.

Check back weekly as we will be adding new NextGen Speaks Out posts regularly. We’re looking forward to it and hope you do too!

Disclaimer
NextGen Speaks Out, our guest blogging series, is envisioned as a hub for information and discussion. NextGen is a non-political, non-denominational organization focused on giving all nextgeners a voice. NextGen does not represent the opinions expressed by the individual columnists.