We’ve heard it all before – you don’t have to like the people you work with, but you do need to be professional and respectful in your work relationships. But why?

What if you just don’t like someone you work with and never will?  Can’t you just avoid them instead?

Given the amount of time that most of us spend at work, having professional and respectful relationships will lead to a more positive work environment.  Some of you may have (or do) work in a situation where you have to drag yourself into work every day because of the nature of the relationships at work.  How did/does that make you feel?  Were you able to do your best work in that environment?  Most people are not able to.

Here’s a common situation:

Barry and Trina are co-workers.  Barry is young and outgoing with no family commitments and Trina is a busy working mother who is usually focused on her work so she can get home to her family.  Both get their work done, but on different schedules.  Trina gets frustrated with Barry because he takes all his breaks and chats with other staff when there is work to be done.  But he is more likely to still be at work when Trina leaves for the day.  Trina has expressed to co-workers that she thinks he is lazy.  Barry can tell that Trina is frustrated with him, but he doesn’t concern himself with that as she’s not one of the staff that he spends time with outside of the office.  Barry finds out that Trina has said some unflattering things about him and tells his work pals that she’s uptight.  The animosity between the two gradually heats up and because they are barely speaking, they miss a deadline.  To their supervisor, they both blame each other for this and want the supervisor to resolve the situation.

If you were Barry and Trina’s supervisor, you may feel like a referee.  The first thing you’ll want to do is get them together to talk about the issue.  It would be very difficult to solve unless they sit down together.  This is difficult, but necessary.  They each need to hear the other’s perspective and plan for how to avoid this situation in the future.

Effective and open communication is a key factor in any positive relationship.

They help to achieve results and build trust so that when an issue does arise, it’s much easier to address with someone you know you can talk to.  It’s best to deal with workplace issues in the early stages.  Many workplace conflict issues start small and fester if not discussed.  We can all think of workplace issues that have existed for years and end up involving many more staff than necessary.  This can lead to a toxic work environment, low productivity and staff turnover, as in Barry and Trina’s case.

Many organizations have respectful workplace policies addressing the issue of workplace relationships.  Even if your organization doesn’t have such a policy, staff have the right to file a complaint under the human rights legislation if they feel they have been discriminated against or harassed.  Just remember though, just because something feels like harassment, doesn’t always mean it is harassment (for example, performance management).  It usually depends on how the message is delivered (this is a whole other topic!).

If you take the time and effort to build a positive work relationship with your staff and/or co-workers, people will feel they can talk to you about problems rather than your co-workers

which is how many issues get blown out of proportion and may end up unresolved.  It becomes a business problem.  We can all think of situations at work where time is wasted, bridges are burned and others are pulled into a conflict that really doesn’t involve them in the first place.

The choice regarding what kind of relationships you want to have at work is yours.

All of us have distinct personalities as well as strengths and weaknesses.  If you recognize this in yourself and others, you will go a long way toward having positive relationships, both at work and home.

Who’s responsible for positive workplace relationships? Every member of the workplace.  However, some (e.g. the boss) will have more responsibility for setting the tone.

If there’s a problem, it’s in everyone’s best to address it immediately.  Everyone is accountable for their own behavior.  Remember to consider other people’s perspective.  And listen – actively.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Stephen Covey

Bio:
Kimerbly Stodola and Nancy Lamer

Kimberly has worked as an Human Resources (HR) Professional since 2001. She graduated from the NAIT Business Program in 2001 then completing her degree at the University of Lethbridge in 2005 as well as acheiveing a CHRP designation. Her HR work experience encompasses the public and private sector, not for profit, healthcare and education. Previous to HR, Kimberly worked as  dental assistant for 13 years. She currently works as a consultant at NAIT and is working towards a Fine Arts certificate demonstrating her belief in life-long learning.

Nancy Lamer has worked in HR in both the private and public sector for over 20 years.  She has a B.A. from the University of Alberta and holds a CHRP designation.  She currently works at NAIT with Kim in an HR generalist role.

Disclaimer
NextGen Speaks Out, our guest blogging series, is envisioned as a hub for information and discussion. NextGen is a non-political, non-denominational organization focused on giving all nextgeners a voice. NextGen does not represent the opinions expressed by the individual columnists.